April, 2012

Dear Ben; It remains a difficulty to me that the beginning of my day is the end of yours. But baby, what a way to start it off. Things are amazing. You surprise me every day with how incredibly sweet you are. Maybe it’s because (I hope) you look just as forward to talking to me as I do talking to you. You’re tired and ready for bed and I’m sleepy and not ready to get out of bed yet here you are, my dependable Aussie alarm. What better motivation to wake up than to know its you I get to wake up to? Figuratively. But, something nags at me. The other proverbial shoe. The rug to be pulled out. For the floor to drop from beneath me. Because…let’s face it. That’s what usually happens. And this, this incredible thing? This can’t last forever, can it? Am I enough for you to hold onto? What happens if I run you off? If I’m too eager and I scare you away? Because that what I do… I ruin things. Here I am, both feet in the water, and I’m worried you don’t want to swim.